Lovers and Ghosts
by JamieCOTC
Summary: While out with Liara on Ilium, Shepard spots her former Tech, Kaidan Alenko ... who is supposed to be dead.  Spoilers for LotSB and ME:Retribution. - This story begins light, but gets dark very quickly.
1. Chapter 1

Warning: Contains spoilers for "Lair of the Shadow Broker" and "Mass Effect: Retribution"  
The M rating is for later chapters in this fic.  
The events of this fic take place between ME2 and ME3.  
Players: Urania Jane Shepard and Liara 

* * *

Liara was late. Shepard toyed with a loose thread on the shoulder of her dress as she stood in front of the kiosk. Were all asari bonding bracelets so expensive or was it just Ilium? How many clips or containers of medi-gel would one pair of bracelets buy? A thousand? One pair alone would pay for a nice new missile launcher or suit of armor. The cost was a moot point. She didn't need to get married, bonded or whatever it was asari did. She didn't need that complication when so much else was at stake. Shepard almost felt ashamed just looking at the bracelets. Still, it was a nice, far away dream. She smiled, shook her head and began to walk away.

"Can I help you, ma'am" The asari attendant asked.

"I'm just looking. Thanks." Shepard turned around, determined to use the woman's polite exchange to flee, but the attendant interjected.

"First time?"

Shepard pulled the hair back over her ears and blushed ever so faintly. "Am I that obvious?" Shepard smiled clumsily. "Thanks, but I'm just looking -"

Something caught the Spectre's eye, a man walking across the commissary, a man so familiar, but it couldn't be.

"Kaidan?"

It just couldn't be.

"Shepard. I'm sorry for being late, but I got so wrapped up in work that … " Liara looked haggard, but still managed to hold herself in a demeanor of grace. "Forgive me … again?" Liara chuckled.

"Shepard?"

Shepard looked a million miles away. "Where did he go? He was right there." Shepard turned around.

"Did you see him?"

"See who, Shepard?"

"Kaidan. I just saw Kaidan walking on the other side of the commissary. Did you see him?" Shepard looked at Liara with a frightening earnest. Liara eased over to her lover and took her by the shoulder.

"Shepard? Kaidan's dead. It was just someone who looked like him." Liara gently pulled her friend toward her. "Come on. Let's get something to eat."

The Spectre looked deeply into the crowds that filled the shopping district. "I could have sworn …" Shepard laughed at herself for a second. "You're right. Come on, let's go. I'm starving. You're late by the way. " Liara shook her head as she smiled.

"You don't say."


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: Contains spoilers for "Lair of the Shadow Broker" and "Mass Effect: Retribution"  
The M rating is for later chapters in this fic.  
The events of this fic take place between ME2 and ME3.  
Players: Urania Jane Shepard and Liara

* * *

Shepard picked up the soup spoon from off the table. "A golden spoon, Liara? A solid gold spoon? What the hell are we doing here?" Shepard raised the menu, flapping it wildly. "A salad here would buy at least a dozen thermal clips. Come on, let's just go back to the Normandy and -"

Liara waved for Shepard to calm down. "I just thought we deserved a little respite. Something nice for a change, but if you'd rather -" Shepard took Liara's hand.

"I'm sorry, Liara. You're right. All those people killed by the Collectors, my crew still shaken, the Reapers still … reaping or whatever it is they do. I just feel guilty."

Liara looked into Shepard's deep azure blue eyes. Shepard knew Liara was right and god how she wanted this night. The two of them together, talking, being normal as if nothing mattered. The asari placed a whisper of a kiss on her lover's hand.

"I understand. There were times when you were … gone that I would catch myself laughing and -" Liara couldn't finish her sentence.

"Hey …" Shepard leaned across the table and gently stroked Liara's cheek. The Commander began to speak, but really, nothing else needed to be said.

"By the way, I thought you had some intel you wanted me to see?"

"Oh, goddess, how could I forget? Sorry Shepard. I just have so much on my mind."

"Give."

Liara pulled out a small data disc and handed it to Shepard. "I thought you'd like to know that the Illusive Man is on the run. Turian infiltration teams launched an attack on the Cerberus base. They were looking for some man the Illusive Man had been experimenting on. Another victim of his twisted schemes. "

Shepard read the data. She wasn't sure if it was good news or not. "Thanks, Liara. I don't think he's out of the picture, but if he's on the run that means he's out of my hair, at least for now."

Liara smiled. "Some good news for once?"

"Yeah, thanks, Liara." Shepard stared blankly at the disc. "At least now when I tell people I'm not working for Cerberus I won't feel like a complete hypocritical jackass."

Lirara's withdrew; her smile faded. "You did the right thing, Shepard, just like I knew you would. You fought Cerberus at every turn. You even destroyed that dammed base. I wish I could have seen the Illusive Man's face." Liara huffed. "Bastard." There was a long silence. Liara shifted her weight uncomfortably as she studied Shepard's million mile stare.

"I'm sorry, Shepard."

"What?" Liara's words jolted Shepard back into reality. "Liara …" Shepard said the asari's name as if she were about to scold a child, but caught herself before she continued. "Liara," she said in a much calmer tone, " You have nothing to be sorry about. I know why you gave my body to Cerberus, and I don't blame you. If it were you, I would have done the same thing."

Liara smiled sadly. "No. You wouldn't. You would have moved on, like you always do, like you always have to do."

Shepard reached across the table and took her lover's hand. "I would now."


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: Contains spoilers for "Lair of the Shadow Broker" and "Mass Effect: Retribution"  
The M rating is for later chapters in this fic.  
The events of this fic take place between ME2 and ME3.  
Players: Urania Jane Shepard and Liara

* * *

Shepard took Liara by the hand as they strolled through the shopping district of Ilium. Their fingers touched playfully. Liara placed her head on Shepard's shoulders and sighed. Shepard looked to be a million miles away.

"Shepard?"

"Shepard, Shepard, Shepard. You know I have a first name, Liara. It would be nice if my girlfriend used it once in a while."

Liara smirked. "Okay, Urania Jane. Is that better?"

"Not really. Most people just use the first two letters."

"UJ? Hmm, I like that."

"Any way, you were about to ask me a questio, Dr. T'Soni?"

"No, UJ, I was about to tell you something. I have to leave soon."

"I know. I guess that means no trip up to the cabin this time?"

"Sorry, Shepard, but I have to get back to work. "

"You do love to torture me, don't you, T'soni?"

Liara smirked again. "Should I get a whip?"

Shepard chuckled. "Hmmm. I might have to think about that."

"Shepard!" Both laughed at the thought. Then Shepard sank back into her own world.

"What's wrong, Shepard? You've been distant all evening"

"There's nothing wrong, Liara. I just have a lot on my plate. That's all."

Liara turned Shepard around. "Don't lie to me and tell me it's raining. If we're going to do this, if we're going to be together, you have to trust me." Shepard didn't respond. Something caught her eye.

"Wait! Did you see him? That was Kaidan, I swear!" Shepard ran out of Liara's reach, pointing and shouting Kaidan's name. People began to stare. "Kaidan!" The man disappeared into the crowd again.

"Liara, that was Kaidan! I know it!"

"Shepard ..." Liara paused, her arms outstretched, beckoning the Spectre to come back. "… It can't be Kaidan. He's dead. "

"I know what I saw, Liara. It was Kaidan. He's alive." A look of desperation came over Shepard's face. Now, a tiny spark of hope that her greatest failure could be undone existed. Shepard clung to that spark for all she was worth. "I don't know how, but … he's alive."

Liara shook her head in disbelief. "Okay, this is crazy, but maybe you're right. I'll see if I can dig up some information on this, but you have to promise me something."

"What?" Shepard turned around, prepared not to like what she was about to hear.

"Go to the Normandy and tell Dr. Chakwas."

Shepard pulled back in anger. "I'm not crazy, Liara!"

"I didn't say you were, but we have to explore all possible angles. Go back to the ship, and I'll hack into Ilium security. If Kaidan is here, we will find him. Go!"

Shepard reluctantly agreed with Laira. She wanted to run down every lead right then and there, but she knew Liara was right. She had to do this right to make it right. Was it possible that Kaiden was alive or was she seeing things as Liara suspected? Was this trauma catching up with her? She never saw her parents who were butchered on Mindoir. She never chased after the unit she lost on Akuze. Why Kaidan? Why now?

"Joker, I'm coming back to the ship. Tell Dr. Chakwas to meet me in the medical bay. Get Garrus and Tali ready for a search and possible rescue. EDI, I need you to bring up Lt. Kaidan Alenko's DNA profile and begin a search of Nos Astra for anything that even looks like a match."

"Shepard, the population of humans on Nos Astra will make such a search -"

"Just do it!"

Shepard picked up her stride. The heel of her left shoe stumbled. It was then she noticed that two Eclipse mercs were following her. Shepard ducked into a nearby alley; flung off her heels and whipped out the Walther PPK she had stuffed in her garter. "We just had to forgo the M-6 to look good for Liara didn't we? Idiot." Shepard hugged the wall, readied her firearm and a biotic charge just in case. The mercs were close, she could hear them talking. She took the stance. She saw the faces of all she had lost, drew upon the anger, the sorrow, the hate, the love, then forced it deep down. They were almost there. She could feel the biotic rush coming from within. She was ready.

"Shepard?"

Shepard knew that voice. A soft whisper of a voice that was as strong as it was kind. She turned around.

"Kaidan?"

There was nothing. No owner to the voice of a ghost. Was she going mad? The mercs were closing in. Only seconds had passed, but precious seconds nonetheless. She charged the mercs and toppled them off their feet, but something nicked her shoulder from behind. Without armor, she felt the full effect of the burning sting. Shepard collapsed. She reached around to feel her shoulder, expecting blood she found a small black dart instead. That was the last thing she saw before she went unconscious.


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: Contains spoilers for "Lair of the Shadow Broker" and "Mass Effect: Retribution"  
The M rating is for later chapters in this fic.  
The events of this fic take place between ME2 and ME3.  
Players: Urania Jane Shepard, Dr. Chakwas and Miranda.

* * *

"Have you isolated the toxin yet? Do you have any idea what it is?" Miranda was, as always, her stern self, but there was a hint of genuine concern in her tone this time.

"It's a derivative of curare, actually" said Dr. Chakwas as she looked over to the still unconscious Shepard. "Mordin's still running tests, but it's possible that the toxin was only meant to knock her unconscious. I highly doubt there was any permanent damage"

Miranda scowled. "Curare? Makes sense. A home brew would be difficult to trace"

Dr. Chakwas shook her head. "Agreed, but whoever did it knew about the Commander's _upgrades_. There was six times the amount of poison to kill a normal human. More than enough to even kill you."

"Hmf." Miranda scoffed at the suggestion. "Dammit, that doesn't explain why she went missing for three days and it certainly doesn't explain … what happened." Miranda's voice trailed off. Dr. Chakwas wanted to shoot back with some snide remark, amazed that Miranda had actual emotions, but she thought better of it.

"Believe me, Miss Lawson, I don't relish telling her."

"Uggh … Could, uh … could someone tell me just what the hell is going on?" Shepard stirred from her bed. Miranda and the doctor raced to her side.

As Miranda eased the Commander back into bed, Dr. Chakwas checked Shepard's pupils. "AAck! Get that goddamned light out of my eye!"

"Well, her demeanor seems to be normal."

"Only to you, Miss Lawson. To everyone else she's a sweetheart. Aren't you Commander?"

"Fuck you! What the hell is going on … here?" Shepard stopped, almost as if she had woken up for a second time. "Where am I? What's going on?"

Miranda knelt down beside the Commander. "Shepard, this is very important. What's the last thing you remember?"

Shepard struggled to remember. What was the last thing she saw? Shepard fiddled with her mouth as if to pry the memories out by hand. "Um … Give me a second."

"Of course, Commander, take your time." Miranda placed her hand on Shepard's arm. A much more compassionate gesture than the Commander expected.

"Liara and I had a date. We looked at … no, I looked at asari bonding bracelets, but that was before. We talked, we laughed, we argued, there was something about a whip." Shepard chuckled. "Don't lie to me and tell me it's raining? Good one, Liara." Suddenly, Shepard gasped as the memories came flooding back. "Kaidan! I saw Kaidan!"

Miranda nodded. "We got your report, Shepard, but EDI didn't find anything. Neither did Liara. What we do know is you were poisoned, and you've been missing for three days."

"Poisoned? Gone for three days? What the hell is going on here?" Shepard groaned.

"We were hoping you could tell us," Miranda said in a softer tone than usual. Shepard shot her a glance. The Commander knew something was up.

Dr. Chakwas pointed to Shepard's left shoulder. "The first dose of the toxin was delivered into your left shoulder, by dart as you say, about three days ago. The second," Chakwas lifted up the shoulder on Shepard's med gown, "was delivered here less than 24 hours ago, most likely in the same manner. As you can see, it's still slightly inflamed."

Miranda's posture stiffened as she returned to her stern demeanor. "What's the very last thing you remember, Commander? It's very important!"

Shepard rose out of bed. "Look, I know you're both just trying to help, but there's something you're not telling me, and I want to know what it is, right now."

Dr. Chakwas sat Shepard back down on the bed. "If you could leave us for a moment, Miranda?"

"I'll be in my office, if you need anything doctor." Miranda turned away, unable to look into Shepard's eyes again. Shepard's first thought was …

"Liara!"

"Liara's fine, Commander. She's scheduled to rendezvous with us in a couple of hours." Chakwas took Shepard's hand and squeezed it tight. "Commander … UJ, there's a very strong possibility that during the course of your abduction … What I mean to say is, we have physical evidence that suggests -"

"Spit it out, Doc!"

"Shepard … you were raped."


End file.
